Dear Urban Jibaro,
I work in the toy department of a major retailer in a pretty diverse part of Pennsylvania. I see a lot of Latino families and I am curious about something. Whenever a kid throw a tantrum in my department, I hear their mothers threaten them with “John Kletter” and they immediately start behaving in most cases.
I have 3 kids myself and I would love to know how John Kletter can help me when they act up.
My question is “Who is John Kletter, and why are Latino children so afraid of him?
“Gracias” (thats all the Spanish I know)
Misty (Lancaster PA)
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Ok…so being that fact that I am completely new at this, I honestly did not know what the hell Misty was talking about. I googled “John Kletter” and did not find much…and was about to move on to our next submission…that is until I mentioned the question to one of my friends (she made me swear not to reveal her name) who has a thick accent and she said “que eso de jon kleta?”and then it hit me me like a ton of bricks…we had a phonetic translation issue here….John Kletter doesn’t exist…at least not in the Latino universe what Misty actually witnessed was the power of the almighty “CHANCLETA”.
This whole ASK A LATINO thing is gonna be fun…
So now that we got that squared away…Click below to read my official response to the first “ASK A LATINO” question.
Misty…
Thank you so much for your question…and choosing me the self appointed Ambassador of Latino Culture to answer it for you. What you observed is a Latino phenomenon not easily understood by mainstream Americanos. John Kletter does not exist, what you saw was Latino parents using one of the most effective disciplinary methods in our culture, the Chancleta. The Chancleta is really no more than a flip flop (the kind you would wear at the beach). The Chancleta’s power comes from the skill of the mother wearing them, the ability she has to un-holster it from her foot (mind you she has two) and immediately resolve the disciplinary crisis by applying what we Latinos call a “pela” (a good old fashion ass whooping). The mere threat of the Chancleta to a child who has ever endured a “pela” will usually correct bad behavior in public as Latino mothers are not really aware of current American laws that frown upon corporal punishment. An incident in which someone approaches a Latino mother who is disciplining her child with a Chancleta to help the child will likely result in that person getting a “pela” themselves. A child that is at home misbehaving while his mother may be barefoot in the house knows that his mother, if forced into a conflict will actually make him go get the Chancleta for her so she can then resolve any behavioral issues. This dynamic is also present in rural African American communities in which black children were told to go to the yard and get a “switch” or a branch from a tree so that their punishment can be administered. Having experienced that personally…I will let you know that it is the longest walk you will ever take and nothing can prepare you mentally for what will happen at the end of your journey.
So Misty…it is very possible like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ, you have may have had the power all along right at your own two feet to keep those bad ass kids of yours in check. Go to the footwear department and get yourself a pair of Chancletas today…and for all you other American moms who favor shopping at home on channels like HSN…below is a video (courtesy of JustLaz.com) that shows a new and improved Chancleta product that has multiple uses in the household. I hope that this will help you in keeping those kids out of trouble.
As I am,
The Urban Jibaro
“Chancleta Survivor”
OMG…”John Kletter:…that was hysterically funny….. LMAOOOO
Growing up, our joke was that Mommys Chancleta was like a boomerang, if we were to far from her reach she would throw it at us.. and before we knew it, The Chancleta was right back in her hand..!!
Have to call my sister and ask her if she remembers the”Boomerang Chancleta”!!
Hahahahah that was so funny “john kletter”” hahsh. Chancleta otherwise known as Clancla is famous in Latino homes…
Hahahahah that was so funny “john kletter”” hahsh. Chancleta otherwise known as Clancla is famous in Latino homes…
Too funnnnnnneeeeeeee! I am in TEARS!!! Had to call my best friend in DC to read the article to her! All she could choke out was HILARIOUS! And cinnamon, OMG, the boomerang chancleta, that is a good one!
That was the funniest thing I’ve ever read!!! John Kletter!! My hubby’s mom would shoot them at him if he tried to run away. He said she used to have incredible aim! My mom was no joke with hers either. Those were the days. Maybe I should try them at my house!
omg, this post is soooo great. i am cracking up so hard over this. I would have never figured out wth John Kletter was.
Now do you remember la vieja chancluda?
jajaja
thanks for the laugh.
Not to get too technical here, but in my day, the “Chancleta” was a household slipper, not just a flip-flop. If you’re my age, you know that (slippers) chancletas were not lightweight, either. Plus, if you were really bad, the chancleta was then replaced by the “correa”!
Thanks for the memories and the laughs!
The Chancleta 3000 video is so wrong and so funny. LOL. I was just posting about chanclas on my blog, too. That flip flop is nothing though. My husband wields a thick, heavy plastic sandal. Those hurt a lot more.
Ask a Latino is going to be awesome!
That is hilarious!!! I remember my abuela’s chancleta,,,I would hide under the bed whenever she would threaten me with it 😉
Oye, I couldn’t stop laughing cause I went to school in PR as a kid and my 3rd grade Maestra de Matematica had chancletas in every color, and spread chancletasos at least once a day…lmao!!!
I once told a non-hispanic coworker of mine that was being rude and lacking manners that it was painfully obvious that as a child he had never been the recipient of a flying chancleta. Because if he would’ve been he wouldn’t have the nasty rude adult behavior he was exhibiting. The hispanic coworkers all agreed. 🙂
Social Threat…
Social Threat…
I couldn’t stop laughing!!!! This is so hilarious!!!
I have so many… the funniest was when my grandmother was trying to scare my brother with the chancleta by hitting the bed next to him and he accidentally rolled toward the chancleta and got hit HARD. She felt so bad but me and my sister could not stop laughing.
I got chacletasos a plenty as a kid, and yes, that walk to “traer la chancleta” is the longest walk, but you know if your ass doesn’t make it back with the chalcleta and mami has to come and find you and the chancleta you will be in for an EPIC ass whooping.